February Lunacy Event: St. Valentine’s Drive
Our February Lunacy is Sunday, February 25th, from 5–7:30 pm at the Microtel Inn and Suites at Perimeter Center, inside the conference room. The address is: 6280 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd, Atlanta, GA 30328
You don’t want to miss this month’s sniffing party. We’ve got the Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab Lupercalia release for you to fall in love with, and we’ll be holding our annual tampon/pad drive for local charity The Place. For every donation worth $20 or more, you’ll receive your choice of one of two free perfume blends, while supplies last. Scent descriptions below!
SANGUINEM MENSTRUUMIt would indeed be a difficult matter to find anything which is productive of more marvellous effects than the menstrual discharge. On the approach of a woman in this state, must will become sour, seeds which are touched by her become sterile, grafts wither away, garden plants are parched up, and the fruit will fall from the tree beneath which she sits. Her very look, even, will dim the brightness of mirrors, blunt the edge of steel, and take away the polish from ivory. A swarm of bees, if looked upon by her, will die immediately; brass and iron will instantly become rusty, and emit an offensive odour; while dogs which may have tasted of the matter so discharged are seized with madness, and their bite is venomous and incurable. -Pliny the Elder The copper tang of blood musk, swept by a cloud of dying bees and red poppies of madness.
VEXED AND AGGRIEVEDThe Kahun papyrus, authored in ancient Egypt, described a “fallen womb”; essentially, it was believed that a woman’s uterus – due to the frustrations of abstinence or chastity – could dislocate itself and travel throughout the body, causing distress, mental illness, disease, and infirmity:When her womb moves towards her liver, she suddenly loses her voice and her teeth chatter and her colouring turns dark. This condition can occur suddenly, while she is in good health. The problem particularly affects old maids and widows-young women who have been widowed after having had children.The solution?You should fumigate her under her nose, burning some wool and adding to the fire some asphalt, castoreum, sulfur and pitch. Rub her groin and the interior of her thighs with a very sweet-smelling unguent.Of course, the condition was sometimes far more dire, and required more strenuous measures:If her womb moves towards her hips, her periods stop coming, and pain develops in her lower stomach and abdomen. If you touch her with your finger, you will see the mouth of the womb turned towards her hip.When this condition occurs, wash the woman with warm water, make her eat as much garlic as she can, and have her drink undiluted sheep’s milk after her meals. Then fumigate her and give her a laxative. After the laxative has taken effect, fumigate the womb once again, using a preparation of fennel and wormwood mixed together. Right after the fumigation, pull the mouth of the womb with your finger. Then insert a pessary made with squills; leave it in for a while, and then insert a pessary made with opium poppies. If you think the condition has been corrected, insert a pessary of bitter almond oil, and on the next day, a pessary of rose perfume. She should stop inserting pessaries on the first day of her period, and start again the day after it stops. The blood during the period provides a normal interruption. If there is no flow, she should drink four cantharid beetle with their legs, wings and heads removed, four dark peony seeds, cuttlefish eggs, and a little parsley seed in wine. If she has a pain and irregular flow, she should sit in warm water, and drink honey mixed with water. If she is not cured by the first procedure, she should drink it again, until her period comes. When it comes, she should abstain from food and have intercourse with her husband. During her period she should eat mercury plant, and boiled squid, and keep to soft foods. If she becomes pregnant she will be cured of this disease…Plato chimes in:Hence it is that in men the privy member is disobedient and self-willed, like a creature that will not listen to reason, and because of frenzied appetite [is] bent upon carrying all before it. In women again, for the same reason, what is called the mat or womb, a living creature within them with a desire for child-bearing, if it be left lo unfruitful beyond the due season, is vexed and aggrieved, and wandering through the body and blocking the channels of the breath, by forbidding respiration brings sufferer to extreme distress and causes all manner of disorders; until at last the Eros of the one and the Desire of the other bring the pair together, pluck as it we the fruit from the tree and sow the ploughland of the womb with living creatures still unformed and too small to be seen…Now, we make no claims that this perfume has any medical or recuperative powers whatsoever, but if you’d like to experience the scents of a bit of Egyptian medicine, we’ve got the cure for what ails you: an incense of cassia and myrrh with opium tar accord, peony seed, honey water, a pinch of pitch, the smoke of burning wool, a handful of dried squill petals, castoreum accord, and pessaries of rose perfume and bitter almond oil.
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